


The Blame Game

by Firelord124



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Based off an episode of Garfield and Friends, Cake baking goes wrong, F/M, I like antiques, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21576808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firelord124/pseuds/Firelord124
Summary: When an attempt at baking goes wrong at Kokichi and Shuichi's residence, the neighbours attempt to work out who was really responsible.
Relationships: Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	The Blame Game

**Author's Note:**

> For those who have watched the 1980s TV show _Garfield and Friends,_ this fanfic is based off the episode "Twice Told Tale". After watching the episode some time ago, I was subsequently inspired to write a Danganronpa spin-off.

_“Emergency … Evacuate now.”_

As the alarm sounded throughout the building, several doors opened to reveal confused and unbelieving faces. The idea of anything disastrous happening when nothing seemed to be the matter was ludicrous, and yet no one wanted to believe that they were completely out of danger, until the alarm stopped. They turned to each other with questioning glances.

The confusion was not helped by Momota, who rushed out of his flat with a panicked expression. With just a jacket loosely draped over his astronaut bathrobe, and with his hair wet and soapy, he made it to the start of the emergency stairs, and was just starting to make his way down before an arm gripped him and forcefully dragged him back.

“Ouch! What gives, Maki?”

Maki gave a huff of annoyance, as she dragged Kaito back towards their shared flat. 

“There’s no danger. It is a false alarm.”

“B-But how can you tell?” Kaito spluttered, looking from Maki towards the emergency stairs again in desperation. He could see his last hope for survival receding from him.

“Does it look like there’s a disaster anywhere?”

Kaito eventually fell silent, and allowed himself to be led back to the door. However, before they entered their flat, the resident living alongside them spoke up:

“Yeah, it’s totally weird! Has anyone got an idea of what happened?”

The green haired neighbour was leaning against the corridor, looking around him with a quizzical expression. He turned to Maki and Kaito with a questioning look. Kaito, slowly realising that he was in sight of their neighbour in _those_ clothes, hastily fled back into the flat, and slammed the door before Maki could enter. Sighing, Maki met Rantaro’s sheepish expression, with one of annoyance.

“No. I don’t see anything amiss, either.”

More people were now piling out into the corridor to join in the conversation. Himiko was the first to join them, yawning and insisting that the alarm had interrupted her in the middle of a complicated magic trick (her constant yawning proved otherwise). Tenko was behind her, keeping her attention on the surrounding people who were in close proximity to Himiko. Maki could swear that she was on the edge of using her neo-aikido moves on everyone in sight, when the door to her flat opened again, and Kaito re-emerged into the hallway, this time without the astronaut bathrobe, and with less soapy hair. However, the sheepish grin remained, and he ultimately decided to keep to the sides of the conversation from then on.

“Fuckin’ alarm! I was in the middle of somethin’ extremely private!” Miu screeched, as she dramatically flung her door open, and sashayed out into the corridor, eventually taking a suggestive stance beside Kiibo, who instantly began to make several small noises. No one else paid her any attention. 

“I-I mean, I was just catching on some beauty sleep…” Miu added in a lower tone, when no one took her up on the bait she offered. Everyone ignored her. 

“Does no one know what caused the alarm?” Korekiyo asked, a slight inflection in his voice that made everyone just a little more uneasy. Korekiyo had claimed that he was in the middle with a conversation with his sister, and had been in the depths of the most interesting discussion about the friends that his sister remembered she had. He seemed impatient to reenter his room; he did not want to leave her waiting. For some reason, the zipper over his mouth was stuck at an awkward angle.

“No,” Kaede said thoughtfully, as she looked around the corridor to see who was there. She realised, much to her amusement, that there were two people missing. “But, if I were to guess at who caused it …”

At that moment, the door at the end of the corridor burst open. Everyone first reacted in shock, and then let out a collective groan.

Standing in the doorframe was Kokichi Ouma. Tendrils of smoke curled around the door, as he leaned against the frame, catching his breath. Recovering quickly, Kokichi managed what seemed like a grin, before striding into the group, who glared at him collectively (except Rantaro, who seemed amused for some strange reason). 

“So sorry to disturb your little gathering, folks!” Kokichi began, arms casually flung behind his head.

“What. The. Hell. Happened. This. Time?” Maki questioned, her eyes gleaming with a malevolent glow, that caused the ultimate supreme leader to momentarily pause. 

“Yeah, did you accidentally short-fuse the electrical system again?” Kiibo took up the questioning, his tone becoming more annoyed. “Because if you did, I’m not repeating -”

Kokichi shook his head emphatically; if anything, that grin he had on widened.

“No, no, you silly robot! I was baking a cake!”

A collective mournful silence hung over the corridor, as everybody lost just that little bit more of their sanity. Maki was the first to recover.

“You were baking a cake.”

“Well, yeah! That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

Maki sighed, and attempted to lower her voice as she continued:

“And the baking didn’t go well, I take it?”

“Duh! Y’know, I think you all are a little slow today! What’s wrong?”

Taking in their glares, Kokichi decided to defuse the situation. Turning his attention to the person who seemed the least likely to disembowel him, who happened to be Rantaro, he continued:

“I’d tell you all about it, but first we’ve gotta help poor, poor Shuichi-chan! He’s dealing with the deadly smoke all by himself!”

Pointing at the door energetically, Kokichi sprung around to re-enter, but was met by Shuichi, who was coughing, and waving the smoke away. 

“How on earth did you get so much smoke from baking a cake?” Kirumi asked, to which Kokichi merely shrugged. 

“Kokichi’s the person baking it,” Kaito groaned, covering his face with his hand. “That’s enough of an answer.”

“Heeeey! I’m not that bad of a baker! Besides, if you all must know, it’s really all Saihara-chan’s fault!”

“Wh-what? How is it my fault? This is all your doing!” Shuichi stuttered, finishing with a cough.

“Wrong! What a liar you are, Saihara chan! You guys don’t believe him, do you? He’s so obviously bad at lying!”

“We-Well …” Kaede began, to which Kokichi gave her a wounded look.

“I’ll tell you guys what happened,” Shuichi began, stepping into the group, for once taking up the centre of the conversation. Perhaps Ouma’s assertion had struck a nerve. “I remember everything that led up to this. This is the truth behind this case.”

Ouma gave a dignified snort.

\---

“We were window-shopping this morning, looking into the store windows at the variety of things and objects on display. Kokichi, however, was being more frustrating than he usually was.

“‘Come ooooooonnnnn, Saihara-chan! This is already going on for far too long! We’ve had no lunch; I’m already wasting away! Look!’

“Deciding not to give him any ground, I did not give him the satisfaction of turning around, and rationally replied: ‘It’s only been an hour. Besides, you’ve had a lot this morning, remember?’

“‘No!’ Kokichi whined, his lip curling, before suddenly forcefully leaning into me, making the two of us swerve across the footpath. Several passers-by gave me sympathetic looks.

“‘Look, just a bit more, and then we’ll call it a day, okay? Remember that it’s Maki and Kaito’s anniversary in a few days time. I want it to be special,’ I said, trying to lead Kokichi towards the antiques shop at the end of the street. 

“Kokichi’s expression soured further.

“‘Why are we even spending time on _their_ anniversary, anyway? They never did anything for us! It makes no sense! I refuse to spend any more time for _Momota’s_ benefit.’ And with that, I had to effectively half drag and half carry him to the window of the shop.

“The exterior of the shop was truly a beautiful thing. It was a true remnant of the past, and I was glad that it had survived the countless renovations and constructions of the buildings around it. In an old style font, the sign on the front door proclaimed that they stored genuine antiques, many from countless decades and even centuries ago. Some of them were displayed in the store window. I marvelled at the delicate looking plateware and the mini carousels on display. But what drew my attention the most, was the apparatus used for placing cakes, muffins and other sorts of pastry. I could imagine giving something like this as a wedding anniversary present.

“I was thinking of this, when Kokichi decided to give a long, drawn out yawn, designed specifically to eat at my nerves. 

“‘Wow! What absolutely marvellous antiques!,’ he proclaimed energetically, adding under his voice, ‘y’know, for old geezers. Don’t tell me you’re actually considering buying those!’

“I had admittedly considered the idea; however, as it was likely to cost more than I could afford, I consequently thought of a better idea.

“‘What about we bake them a cake?’ I said, to which Kokichi gave an immediate snort, and burst out giggling. 

“‘B-Bake a cake!? How did -” Kokichi began, struggling to talk with his laughing. Recovering briefly, he managed:

“‘Have you ever used an oven before, Saihara-chan? Y’know what they are, right? Right?’

“I gave a small hurt noise. ‘Of course-” I began, but Kokichi cut me off. 

“‘Then you know that, at best, you’d burn the cake. At best. At worst …” His voice trailed away, as he let the implication hang in the air.

‘“That’s not exactly a vote of confidence, Kokichi.’

‘“I’m just being realistic! Nothing wrong with that.’

“I decided not to let Kokichi get to me; he was always less than impressed with my efforts anyway. The idea became stuck in my head, and I suppose that Kokichi saw the gleam in my eyes, which indicated that I had truly decided on something, and was dead set on it.

‘“Weeeell, I suppose if it means we get to buy food, it can’t be all that bad, right? I’m starving anyway! And besides …’

“Kokichi lowered his voice conspiratorially, and his hand brushed at his hairline. His expression had become more devilish than before, which I didn’t realise was even possible.

‘“... A crappy cake would juuuuust be the beeeest present for Momota, wouldn’t it? Serves him right. Saves money for more important things as well! Like …’

“He practically pulled my arm off as he led me to the nearby restaurants. We were frequent visitors at most of them, mainly due to Kokichi’s demands. Afterward, with me paying of course, we arrived at the supermarket, at which I selected a cake mix, and Kokchi headed for the soft drink area, and overloaded on Panta. He claimed, as he always did, that it was for ‘research purposes’.”

Maki gave an almost imperceptible huff of derision, to which Kokichi raised his eyes innocently toward her. Shuichi gave him a look, and continued:

“Kokichi was right in one regard, however; I did not exactly know how to bake a cake. I had seen people do it on television and online videos, but I had thought that as I bought the cake mix, it should be a more straightforward process.

“It took about three minutes for me to realise that it was not easy; I had the cake mix everywhere, and the dough was lopsided. I took another look at the instructions on the side of the box, but quickly realised that a part of the chocolate icing was obscuring it. I gave an internal groan.

“‘Not quite as easy as you thought it to be, huh, Saihara-chan?’

“Kokichi was watching the disaster unfold from the depths of his personal purple armchair, which came with four miniscule wheels attached to the chair legs, which allowed him to effectively move himself around the house without leaving the chair. This time, he had moved it to the perfect angle where he could see me struggle with the cake mix, a bottle of Panta in hand. He had already worked himself through a grand total of four bottles. I glowered at him; give him a white cat, and he’d be well on his way to become the ultimate supreme leader of evilness.

“‘You could consider helping, Kokichi,’ I spat, trying to stir the cake mix with a wooden spoon. It was proving incredibly resistant; I briefly wondered if I was doing it right. Kokichi smirked.

“‘ And risk losing my dignity? ‘Sides, I’m perfectly happy with not giving any gifts. You’re the person who is insisting on doing this!’

“I had to concede that he had a point. 

“‘Go find something else to do, then,'' I growled, finally giving up on loosening the dough, and shoving the cake mix into the oven. I just had to hope that it was enough to produce something that was at least edible. Kokichi pursed his lips, and pouted.

“‘And miss out on the best comedy show this year? You should be on the stage, Saihara-chan! Seriously!’

“I did not dignify that remark with a comment. Having shoved the cake mix into the oven, I proceeded to shove all of the utensils into the sink, deciding that I would deal with cleaning them later. I felt the beginnings of a headache. Kokichi was saddened that his source of entertainment was over, I guess, and sulked in his chair as I passed him.

“I managed to make it to the living room, before I collapsed on the sofa, and almost fell asleep right there, comforted by the soft cushions. I guess that Kokichi, in my absence and with nothing else to do, decided to tamper with the cake mixture, and make it into a sort of anti-present, like a stink bomb. I don’t know exactly what he put into the mixture, but the next thing I know, I detected the smell of what seemed like burning emanating from the kitchen. Before I could completely react, however, the shrill sound of the alarm went off, and I bolted from the living room to the kitchen. 

“Kokichi was standing in front of the oven, a dazed look on his face. I expect he didn’t realise that his sabotage had gone awry.

“‘Kokichi! What have you done!’ I demanded, shoving him to one side, and taking a look at the oven. The glass was obscured by the smoke.

“‘This is all your doing, Saihara chan! See what happens when you try to bake something!’ Kokichi replied, his voice panicky. Before I could process what he had said, Kokichi had bolted out of the door, and I attempted to follow him, but the smoke was getting to me. I barely had time to turn off the oven, and put the flame out, before I followed Kokichi out of the door.”

\---

“And so, you see,” Saihara finished, his voice grim, “the culprit was none other than you, Kokichi!”

Kokichi scowled. He turned to look at the others, and saw nothing but accusing stares. Of course they would believe the detective over him. But Saihara- _chan_ wasn’t as saintly as they all thought.

“Don’t tell me you guys believe him! The guy’s such a lousy liar!” Kokichi spat, clenching his hands and looking at each of his neighbours in turn.

“As if we’d believe you over him!” Kaito said, frowning at Kokichi’s attempts at clarification. 

“Huuuuuuuhhh? Don’t you want to hear _my_ side of the story first, before you make such a biased, hot-headed decision?” Kokichi whined, mustering all the fake tears he had as a backup for just these moments. 

“I suppose that’s only right,” Korekiyo monotoned. “Human beings are more complicated than you would first believe. It could be that we are not hearing the full story. We should all reserve judgement until then.”

Even though only the freakish anthropologist was willing to give him a listen, Kokichi dug in, and continued:

“Yeah! Kiyo’s right; my version could change everything!”

A dead silence filled the hallway, before it was abruptly broken not two seconds later.

“I say we give the little gremlin a fair hearing!” Miu said, which was soon agreed upon by Rantaro and Kaede. Shuichi looked on in disbelief. 

“Well then!” Kokichi began, before any of them could think twice about it, “I happen to remember every detail. You can trust me to present them in a fair, reasonable-”

Miu broke the monologue with a screech of laughter. Kokichi gave her a unamused look.

\--

“I was patient enough today to go shopping with Saihara-chan for the present, but it seemed like Saihara was in one of his bad moods. He scowled once every few minutes, and glared at an old lady at one of the crossings, when she accidentally cut in front of him. He scared a couple of toddlers, walking with their parents, when they were walking by him, for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I am sure they will be having nightmares of this moment for years to come. 

“I could see that he was getting frustrated, and so I did not attempt to make the situation worse with my suggestions. I quietly and obediently followed him to what seemed like every shop in town. He was wearing both of us out, and yet he didn’t acknowledge it. He stubbornly kept walking on.

“Saihara-chan turned suddenly towards me, and I could see a deep-seated anger and hatred filled his eyes as he snarled:

“‘What’s wrong, Kokichi? We were only here for an hour at the most!’

“I tried to be reasonable, even though it was approaching three hours already, and decided to calm him down, although his attitude chilled me. ‘Well, Saihara-chan, it is getting close to lunchtime, and-’

“‘I could have guessed! Are you that hungry! God!’

“I was about to give soothing gestures, but then we approached the antiques store. I took one look at the items on display, and knew immediately that the cake holders seemed like the perfect present. I was willing to use all my savings to purchase it, and I was already going through the door, when Saihara chan stopped me.

“‘Do you know how expensive that is, Kokichi? Why spend so much on a present, when we could spend it on selfish things?’

“‘But I want some thought to be behind our present!’ I protested. ‘How else can we show Kaito and Maki that we really, really, appreciate them as our dear beloved friends?’

“‘You want to show your appreciation?’ Shuichi snapped, to which I meekly nodded. ‘Then do something else. This is way beyond both of our price ranges, anyway.’

“I gave that problem a brief thought. What could I do to show Kaito and Maki that I really care about them? Perhaps something that you couldn’t buy with money. Maybe, if I couldn’t buy them the cake holder, I could at least bake them a cake.

“‘I know! I’ll bake them a cake!’ I said, to which Saihara snorted. 

“‘A cake! You? Just make sure you don’t burn down the house or eat it first!’

“Although Saihara-chan was being unreasonable, I was fair enough to disregard his stinging remarks, and look towards the optimistic side.

“‘Suuure! Why not! C’mon!’ I said, and rushed to purchase the cake mix, with Saihara-chan still shaking his head behind me. 

“I forgot entirely about lunch and my own needs, and dedicated myself entirely towards making the present as impressionable as it could be. I spent some time at the cake-mix aisle of the supermarket, to the chagrin of Saihara-chan. I was deciding between the chocolate mix or the vanilla, when I heard a small cough behind me. I turned, and saw an old woman, standing just beyond Saihara-chan, who seemed to be silently fuming. She gave me a warm smile as I met her gaze.

“‘It’s so nice to see you dedicate so much time on someone else, dearie,’ the woman intoned; beside her, Saihara-chan raised an eyebrow and gave me a withering look. Encouraged by the woman’s support, I purchased the chocolate mix with my own personal savings, and energetically returned back home, to which I then realised, a minute after opening the cake mix, that I was completely lost on making the cake. I could literally feel Saihara-chan ready to say: ‘I told you so!’ when he grabbed the cake tin from me.

“‘Hey! What’s that for?’ I managed to splutter. 

“‘I’ve already spent the better half of today following on to your schemes, Kokichi,’ Saihara growled, ‘And I’m not about to let those hours go to waste. If you don’t know how to get started, I’ll do it for you.’

“I tried my best to lighten his mood.

“‘Awwww, is Saihara-chan sacrificing more of his time for me? You’re too good for me!’

“‘Believe me, I know,’ was the caustic reply. I decided not to escalate the situation further.

“But it seemed that Saihara-chan did not entirely know, either, how the cake was supposed to bake. After an hour of cursing, banging and more cursing, he had managed to shove the cake tin into the oven, and the rest of the utensils in the sink. 

“‘There,’ he spat. ‘You can have your cake.’

“I gave a weak smile in return, as I watched him stagger to the living room, and lay down on the sofa. I walked over to where the oven was, and peeked in. The cake seemed like something out of a horror movie. I saw irregular shapes rising from the dough, large bubbles, and some of the cake mix was spilling from the tray. 

“‘I took another look at the instructions, and then realised that Saihara-chan had overlooked something: he forgot to add the flavouring. If I had baked it myself, I wouldn’t have committed such an obvious oversight. Opening the oven door, I began to pour in some of the flavouring.

“But there was not enough time. There was a hissing sound, and then the cake began to burn as I saw the beginnings of a flame. I had barely managed to understand what I was seeing, before I heard footsteps behind me.

“‘Kokichi! What have you done!’

“‘This is all your doing, Saihara-chan! See what happens when you try to bake something!’ I managed to splutter, before rushing out of the kitchen, to call for help. I heard the sound of the alarm from above my head, and had just reached the front door before I sensed the smoke around me. I opened the door, to find anyone who could help.”

\---

“And that’s how,” Kokichi concluded, “the fire really began. With Saihara-chan’s incompetence.”

There was a moment of solemn silence, as everyone weighed up the relevance of Kokichi’s statement. Momota was smirking, while Maki seemed annoyed at the delay.

After a minute, Rantaro broke the silence.

“I don’t think that either of your accounts is the truth.”

Shiuichi frowned, while Kokichi pouted, the beginning of tears already in his eyes.

“What? Betrayed by Amami-chan? How could you? I thought we were friends!”

“Yeah, but adding in the old woman in your story, as a sympathetic witness? That’s very clearly a lie that went way over the top!” Kaede said, to which the other members in the group nodded agreement. 

“And since when were you ever that appreciative of Maki and me?” Momota demanded. He was smirking slightly, shaking his head.

Kokichi’s expression changed quickly to an unreadable blankness. Okay, so he _could_ have been making that up, but he wasn’t alone in that regard.

“Well, why aren’t all of you looking at Saihara-chan’s lies? I swear that no one ever gave _him_ sympathetic looks that day!”

Saihara turned a violent shade of red.  
“Fine, so I may have been a bit less appreciative of Kokichi that I should have-”

Miu nodded energetically, while Kiibo looked on nervously beside her. He decided to contribute to the conversation.

“While I agree that Kokichi is sometimes a bit of a handful, I don’t think that he’d be quite as frustrating as that.”

Kokichi gave him a wide smile.

“Awwwww, so the big, awkward robot has a heart after all! How unexpected!”

“You were saying?” Himiko commented, eyebrow raised. Kiibo rolled his eyes, and decided to reprimand Kokichi about the robophobic remark later. 

“Both accounts have distorted the truth in some way,” Korekiyo commented softly, gazing at Shuichi and then Kokichi, in turn, with a hand thoughtfully pressed over his mouth. “I do not think we would ever know who was actually responsible.”

“I could take a lucky guess, though,” Maki snapped, glaring silently at Kokichi, who again gave her a wide-eyed, innocent stare. She scoffed, and looked at Momota, who rolled his eyes.

“Well, we could discuss this all day,” Kaede sighed, “but what about the mess? And the present? It will be Kaito and Maki’s anniversary in a few days, after all.”

“Oh! I totally forgot about that!” Momota said, while Maki sighed. 

“I think,” Kirumi said calmly, “I have the solution. I will help Kokichi and Shuichi to restore their flat, and also with the cake-baking.”

She turned to Maki and Kaito, and smiled softly.

“Consider it as a gift from the three of us.”

“From all of us!” Rantaro corrected. “I’ll help too!”

Everyone made various signs of agreement, and together they all walked over toward Shuichi and Kokichi’s flat; Shuichi looked stunned, while Kokichi grinned and led them toward the kitchen, relieved to not have the cleaning and baking duties all to himself. Momota turned to Maki, who was silently frowning, and gave a shrug.

“Hey, at least this is the most memorable lead-up to an anniversary we’ve ever had, right?”


End file.
